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My first Japanese boyfriend would go for weeks without contacting me because he was working late every day.
Also, a general lack of e-mailing, phone calls etc. Although I don’t think that this just applies to Japanese men!
In general, Japanese men are likely to be embarrassed about showing affection in public – even things like putting an arm around someone’s shoulders, or hugging, never mind kissing.
Very touchy feely Japanese couples are definitely NOT the norm.” “Long working hours and overtime are common here in Japan.
Being able to passionately talk without being cut off is borderline orgasmic.2.
The dreaded ~silent moments~ are actually fucking wonderful. LOL, this one will drive you nuts because you know when *you* get quiet, it’s 100 percent intentional passive aggressiveness designed to make the other person slowly crumble. He truly, genuinely is just floating in his own world for a hot second.4. The chatterbox floodgates really open when he has access to emojis and time to think before he speaks. You have to really ask him about himself, otherwise you might miss some big stuff.
All of that on TOP of telling you he loves you, in that charmingly timid way of his.15. You know him getting stuttery around you or getting so nervous that he actually falls UP a staircase (like my boyfriend did on our first date, true story) just means he is full of the warmest feelings for you. You’re with him because, deep down, you’re probably a little shy too.
Yeah, you may comparatively talk more than him at a party, but if you never experienced social anxiety or the spiritual need to scroll through your phone to avoid small talk, you wouldn’t get him, or love him as much as you do.
You can both cuddle without the crushing pressure of filling every minuscule gap in a conversation. The bigger the accomplishment, the more your convo feels like 20 questions. And you’re constantly learning crazy huge chunks of information about him. He’ll also ask you things no one else ever thought to. Because he’s not the type to interject a lot (or, at all), bigger group settings make him seem like all he’s secretly roasting everyone in his head between every silent, polite nod. Because he’s so shy, the people who end up being his closest friends are usually the kinder, more patient people who won’t immediately write off that person standing awkwardly by themselves at a party.
Just when you think you know him, he’ll tell you he met Obama once and they talked for 10 whole minutes. This guy has logged a lot of hours intently listening to you, so don’t be too shocked when he throws you a philosophical curveball like “If you never reach [x long-term goal], do you think you could ever be truly happy? So yeah, one-on-one friend hangs are way more his wheelhouse. And you won’t feel like you need to be “on” when you first chill with them because, uh, have you met your own boyfriend? Loud men, in contrast, will irritate you more than they did before.
Once you spend a lot of time with a man who never aggressively tries to out-joke other people or constantly offers cringey commentary during , you develop an even lower tolerance for the men who do.12. I will die on this hill, but I swear, there is a direct correlation between how rarely a guy talks about his sexual exploits and how skilled and open to your kinks he actually is.
You will get protective any time a guy implies your man’s quietness is weakness. His sex life is, as Ron Swanson would curtly say, “epic and private.”14.
But then you’ll remember that lots of men think lots of arbitrary crap is masculine, like overly-hoppy craft beer or wearing boat shoes with socks. He shows his love in way more practical, personal ways.